Part of my issue with food has been, for lack of a better explanation, a lack of appreciation for it. Because I was always concerned about just eating as much as I could before it was no longer available - food has never been a pleasure - something to be savored. It became a deamon to be dealt with daily - something to be dreaded, to just get over and done with. Meal times in my childhood/adolescence were some of the most traumatic and unhealthy experiences in my life.
Yet, food is also where I sought solace in times of emotional need, which says a lot for how bad those times were if I went to food for help. Eating in secret gave me the illusion I was in control. I ate just as much, or just as fast, but in my panicked mind - it was a sliver of my life that I had any say so over.
Portion control - eating until satisfied - has not and is probably a long way off from being something I can do without great effort. This is big on my habit breaking goal list.
Taking the time to just look at and really see ingredients, appreciate their smell and texture, is all new for me - which is why photographing this journey is helpful. For instance - I am not a huge tomato fan but I saw this really colorful container of little tomatoes and thought why not - they are beautiful.
As I was making my salad last night (baby romaine, those tomatoes, carrots, sugar snaps, pickled beets, hearts of palm, a few olives and cottage cheese topped with Salt Free Mrs Dash and lemon juice and Worchestershire sauce (my "dressing" of choice) - I was struck with how pretty it all was.
I noticed...I was going slow enough I was able to take the time to notice...and appreciate - mindful eating for the WIN!
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